Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
