I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
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i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
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My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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