Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
