So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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