Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize
