I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
