were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize