Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
