Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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