She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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