Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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