I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
