i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Vodka?
Forever.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Randomize