We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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