first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
