You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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