you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
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Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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