Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
