Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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