Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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