eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
