C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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