And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize