your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
