She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
