Three words: puerto rican gang bang
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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