They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
