You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
