I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
