why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
you didnt know i had herpes?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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