Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
