Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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