i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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