i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Randomize
