i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I'm really busy with my period
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