haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
