At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
