You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
