I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
