his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
and she was petting her beer can
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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