doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I think my nap took me to another dimension
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
