there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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