i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
