And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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