don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
