Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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