if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
He had one of those small greek statue penises
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
