I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
