Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
