i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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