How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
