Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I want to fling myself into the sun
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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