There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
