What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
