I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
