if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
