are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
