you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
