what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Man, jail baloney is awful.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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